A Strange Saturday

I exhausted all types of rituals I have ever known to prevent something from happening, and it happened to be a Saturday on this rare occasion. I performed dances, made prayers and shouted verbal threats. In the end, nothing worked.

I was still reeling from the weeklong sleep drought when my radio alarm blasted at me with murderous pop songs at six thirty. Absurd lyrics and obnoxious beats of such noise soon gave me a pulsating migraine. I opened my eyes to find the off button, but was thwarted by a blurred vision. Only then, did I actually know what it meant to be bleary eyed.

I guess I can’t blame anyone for my sufferings. It was, after all, my choice to violate the sacred pact of mankind to not wake early on weekends (does this makes me less human?). Nevertheless I have done so with the purpose of acquiring the key to unlock my dream. I just need to perform well on the two tests, easy enough. But the two tests just don’t seem to be willing to cooperate, they are more eager to end dreams than they are helping you to achieve it. To prepare for the onslaught, studying was given first priority, or so I thought.

Lacking self discipline and without a tradition of studying, it was downright impossible to get myself to set aside sometime to at least smell the study guide. I’ve had it for a month, but I’ve only put in about ten hours of studying time. About more than half of the time was accumulated the night before the test. As far as I was concerned, one can never properly prepare for a standardize test. You either know that stuff, or you don’t.

The late night studying didn’t help with my deprivation of sleep. Coupled with insomnia, I have only had about five hours of sleep before the examination. It wasn’t exactly the type of thing recommended by the testing agency. I woke up bleary eyed, got dressed and wobbled downstairs. With the TV buzzing in the background and coffee at arm’s length, I busied myself with iPad apps until it was time for me to leave for the test center.

The morning was bright enough to not have the headlight turned on. The Sun was up, though it was struggling to force through the clouds. It was a lost battle, however. The clouds were staged in a staggering formation and have more than adequate to cover the entire morning sky.

In all honesty I was a bit nervous, but as soon as I walked out the door, I felt alright.  The morning chill was comforting. It even lured the butterfly in my stomach out to dance in this refreshing air. I drove with the window all the way down and let the cold wind blow against my face. It felt good, slightly hypnotizing. And not long after, I had completely forgotten the reason why I was out driving.

I arrived at the testing center at last. They asked for my ticket and a photo id and as told a room number to go to. I obeyed.

***

“I should’ve studied more.”